all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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