How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
