Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
