That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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