your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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