Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone shit on the floor
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
