Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
