We're facebook friends in real life
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
