Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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