My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
