I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
