Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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