Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
