worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
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