Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
