i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
high people should be assigned attendants
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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