He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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