using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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