I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
