found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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