..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
