You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
