I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
