sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
