I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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