some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
