so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
