Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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