Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
