Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
