Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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