A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
