I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
