Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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