If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
