just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
