WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
