I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
