Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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