opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
