drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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