i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
