This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
