Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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