Where did you get a picture of my penis
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
