i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
