at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
