for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
