Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize