i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
