bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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