Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
