No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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