I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
