Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
