This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
