I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
