okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
