Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
