Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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